Fleeing Teeth
Old Man was set loose the other day. Friday to be exact. I worry when he's set loose. There's no telling what the day will bring. Take Friday, for instance. I had to go to work, Old Man had the day off from his job. He decided that he would travel to a town that is about one and a half hours away from our home by car and conduct some business, run some errands. I worry because I'm not there to remind him of things, like watching out for the pedestrian ahead of us, or that he should turn on his directional signal when making a left hand turn. I know he appreciates my thoughtfulness. He's just like that.
So, when he is set loose I worry that he will forget something important. Well, he didn't forget anything, but the second reason I worry when he is set loose was proven true. You can never tell what the day will bring. Old Man has such strange, wonderful and/or outrageous experiences while he is out by himself, it simply amazes me.
Last Friday, after Old Man was finished running errands and conducting business, he decided he would treat himself to a couple of hours at the casino. It was almost noon when he arrived, not quite lunch time, so he decided he would gamble a little, and I do mean 'little'. My husband is so lucky or frugal, I'm not sure which, that he can make $10.00 last for hours. By 1:00 Old Man had won and lost about $200.00 and he was famished. That was hard work!
When he went to the casino buffet, he found that they were serving his favorite - fried catfish. He couldn't believe his luck. He had played the slots for a couple of hours on only $10.00 and that was topped off with all-you-can-eat fried catfish. I believe he thought he had died and gone to heaven.
It wasn't long before all of that fried catfish had its expected results and he had to visit the men's lavatory. Old Man was genuinely impressed with the facilities. All tile.
The stall Old Man chose was perfect - the last one in the line of stalls, but it had a small puddle of something near the base. He wasn't sure if this was water or something else. He was very careful about where his pants legs landed. He had no sooner sat down then he heard someone else come in and take the second stall away from him. Now, Old Man was concentrating on what was going on in his own stall when he heard something unusual. Clackity-clack it went.
He looked down in the direction of the strange noise and saw a pair of uppers sliding along the tile towards him and the puddle of water near the base of the commode. They landed just inside the puddle. Now, dear Reader, what would you have done in this situation? Old Man was so surprised, he almost lost his own teeth from his open jaw. His mind raced into action, deciding what he should do next: pick up the dentures and return them to the owner, or safer, leave them where they were and exit the stall as quickly as possible so the owner could retrieve them.
The owner of the uppers was thinking far faster than Old Man, because the next strange sight was a very skinny, liver spotted hand reaching under the side wall of the stall occupied by Old Man, the puddle of water and the dentures. The liver spots belied the speed of the hand that darted in and out so quickly. Old Man wasn't quite sure if he had really seen it. But a second later, the man leaving the restroom in a run confirmed what Old Man thought he saw. It was only later that Old Man realized he didn't hear any running water in a sink after the rescue. He doesn't know if the dentures left the restroom in the man's mouth or pocket. That was a thought he didn't want to entertain.
That was all Old Man could take that day. He drove home and waited for me to get home from work and from seeing Aunt Mildred in the hospital, so he could tell me about his strange day.
I do believe Old Man should write a book about his strange, wonderful and/or outrageous experiences .
So, when he is set loose I worry that he will forget something important. Well, he didn't forget anything, but the second reason I worry when he is set loose was proven true. You can never tell what the day will bring. Old Man has such strange, wonderful and/or outrageous experiences while he is out by himself, it simply amazes me.
Last Friday, after Old Man was finished running errands and conducting business, he decided he would treat himself to a couple of hours at the casino. It was almost noon when he arrived, not quite lunch time, so he decided he would gamble a little, and I do mean 'little'. My husband is so lucky or frugal, I'm not sure which, that he can make $10.00 last for hours. By 1:00 Old Man had won and lost about $200.00 and he was famished. That was hard work!
When he went to the casino buffet, he found that they were serving his favorite - fried catfish. He couldn't believe his luck. He had played the slots for a couple of hours on only $10.00 and that was topped off with all-you-can-eat fried catfish. I believe he thought he had died and gone to heaven.
It wasn't long before all of that fried catfish had its expected results and he had to visit the men's lavatory. Old Man was genuinely impressed with the facilities. All tile.
The stall Old Man chose was perfect - the last one in the line of stalls, but it had a small puddle of something near the base. He wasn't sure if this was water or something else. He was very careful about where his pants legs landed. He had no sooner sat down then he heard someone else come in and take the second stall away from him. Now, Old Man was concentrating on what was going on in his own stall when he heard something unusual. Clackity-clack it went.
He looked down in the direction of the strange noise and saw a pair of uppers sliding along the tile towards him and the puddle of water near the base of the commode. They landed just inside the puddle. Now, dear Reader, what would you have done in this situation? Old Man was so surprised, he almost lost his own teeth from his open jaw. His mind raced into action, deciding what he should do next: pick up the dentures and return them to the owner, or safer, leave them where they were and exit the stall as quickly as possible so the owner could retrieve them.
The owner of the uppers was thinking far faster than Old Man, because the next strange sight was a very skinny, liver spotted hand reaching under the side wall of the stall occupied by Old Man, the puddle of water and the dentures. The liver spots belied the speed of the hand that darted in and out so quickly. Old Man wasn't quite sure if he had really seen it. But a second later, the man leaving the restroom in a run confirmed what Old Man thought he saw. It was only later that Old Man realized he didn't hear any running water in a sink after the rescue. He doesn't know if the dentures left the restroom in the man's mouth or pocket. That was a thought he didn't want to entertain.
That was all Old Man could take that day. He drove home and waited for me to get home from work and from seeing Aunt Mildred in the hospital, so he could tell me about his strange day.
I do believe Old Man should write a book about his strange, wonderful and/or outrageous experiences .
Oh my what an adventure. I was rolling throught that...
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