Fleeting Chicken Sandwich
I've been thinking a lot about chicken lately. I'm ready to eat some after a week of Christmas ham. Oh, don't get me wrong, I love to eat ham, but a week's worth is quite enough, thank you. I was telling my friend how I wish I had a chicken sandwich, to which she replied that she didn't care if she never saw another chicken. I thought that was a rather curious statement, so I made the mistake and asked her why.
"Oh, no, you want to eat chicken, I couldn't tell you, it's too awful."
"Sounds like a challenge to me, try me." Those are words I should never have uttered. I will try to recount her story as best as I am able, but you really had to be present to get the full gist of the story. Oh, and make sure you aren't eating any chicken, or anything for that matter.
It seems that one very hot, dry summer, chickens were dropping like flies. They succumbed to the extraordinary heat and lack of rain. So, of course, chicken was ridiculously cheap that summer. She did what any mother of several children would do, she bought three whole cases of chicken and put them in her huge chest freezer. While she was telling me this, I was wondering where I was during this heat wave and why wasn't I smart enough to get a deal like this.
Because she didn't want to get into the chest freezer too often she planned to transfer 6 chickens each month to her refrigerator freezer. Shortly after buying the chickens and having transferred chicken to the refrigerator only once, she noticed flies gathering at the gasket of the freezer. She sprayed them with insect spray, but the next day more were back and they brought friends and family.
When she realized she couldn't get rid of the flies, her fears began to grow. She finally got the nerve to open the top to the freezer. Slowly, ever so slowly, afraid of what she would find, my friend cracked the lid and her heart sank when she felt no coldness coming from within. But, she didn't have time to really think about that before the most horrendous, nauseous odor smacked her face full force. She let go of the lid as though it physically assaulted her and she had to get away.
My friend and her husband were both SCUBA divers, so later that day, my friend's husband donned the oldest, most disposable clothes he owned, his diving mask, air tank and regulator, ready to do battle with the enemy freezer. Armed with an empty gallon milk jug cut to make a scoop and several heavy duty trash bags, he went to work. My friend admitted that she didn't help him, she couldn't go near the freezer. She was extremely thankful that the freezer was located in an out building they used for storage, NOT in the house.
After the pieces and parts were bagged, my friend's husband put everything into the bed of his pickup, pulled down the road looking for the local dump. Not sure if the turn he needed was down the road ahead or the next road, he turned down the first road which turned out to be a driveway. The lady of the house, came out waving in true southern hospitality until she came within 50 feet of the truck, then she went to waving wildly in the direction of the dump and hurried back indoors.
So, Dear Reader, I think I may stick to my ham sandwich after all.
"Oh, no, you want to eat chicken, I couldn't tell you, it's too awful."
"Sounds like a challenge to me, try me." Those are words I should never have uttered. I will try to recount her story as best as I am able, but you really had to be present to get the full gist of the story. Oh, and make sure you aren't eating any chicken, or anything for that matter.
It seems that one very hot, dry summer, chickens were dropping like flies. They succumbed to the extraordinary heat and lack of rain. So, of course, chicken was ridiculously cheap that summer. She did what any mother of several children would do, she bought three whole cases of chicken and put them in her huge chest freezer. While she was telling me this, I was wondering where I was during this heat wave and why wasn't I smart enough to get a deal like this.
Because she didn't want to get into the chest freezer too often she planned to transfer 6 chickens each month to her refrigerator freezer. Shortly after buying the chickens and having transferred chicken to the refrigerator only once, she noticed flies gathering at the gasket of the freezer. She sprayed them with insect spray, but the next day more were back and they brought friends and family.
When she realized she couldn't get rid of the flies, her fears began to grow. She finally got the nerve to open the top to the freezer. Slowly, ever so slowly, afraid of what she would find, my friend cracked the lid and her heart sank when she felt no coldness coming from within. But, she didn't have time to really think about that before the most horrendous, nauseous odor smacked her face full force. She let go of the lid as though it physically assaulted her and she had to get away.
My friend and her husband were both SCUBA divers, so later that day, my friend's husband donned the oldest, most disposable clothes he owned, his diving mask, air tank and regulator, ready to do battle with the enemy freezer. Armed with an empty gallon milk jug cut to make a scoop and several heavy duty trash bags, he went to work. My friend admitted that she didn't help him, she couldn't go near the freezer. She was extremely thankful that the freezer was located in an out building they used for storage, NOT in the house.
After the pieces and parts were bagged, my friend's husband put everything into the bed of his pickup, pulled down the road looking for the local dump. Not sure if the turn he needed was down the road ahead or the next road, he turned down the first road which turned out to be a driveway. The lady of the house, came out waving in true southern hospitality until she came within 50 feet of the truck, then she went to waving wildly in the direction of the dump and hurried back indoors.
So, Dear Reader, I think I may stick to my ham sandwich after all.
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I've enjoyed writing this, as I hope you've enjoyed reading it. Please leave a comment about whether you like it or if not, constructive criticism is always welcome.