Fleeting Beef . . . Or Is It Chicken?

A very dear friend from childhood came to visit last week. We had not seen each other in several years, although we kept in touch via email and social networks. When she called to say she would be in town, I looked forward to a delightful time reminiscing about old friends, teachers - oh, and old boyfriends we stole from one another.
        When we met at the restaurant, I almost didn't recognize her. Her once-cinnamon colored tresses were every color of blond imaginable. And her deep brown eyes had become a strange color of green.
         "How do you like my new look?" she beamed.
         "Um, wonderful . . . um, beautiful . . . um, why?" I couldn't think of anything else to say.
         "Oh, you know."
         Oh, I do? I have the same mousey blond hair I was born with.
         "We're getting to that age, you know. Where the grays are popping out. Anyway, I always wanted to find out if blonds really did have more fun."
         Our waitress arrived and rattled off the specials for the day so quickly in her Mexican accent, I just ordered a fajita salad and a margarita, frozen, if you please. Would I like chicken or beef? Of course, I told her beef. Chicken is for the healthy meals, but not a special meal with my old friend.
         She ordered the same thing, except with chicken. I wonder if she didn't think our luncheon was special?
         Getting back to our conversation my friend explained that she and her husband planned a cruise to the Bahamas in a few months. She was slimming down and toning up, getting ready for swimwear.
         "I was looking pretty good, I must say. And then I started noticing these gray hairs sprouting! I couldn't have that! So, I decided to change. Do you see anything else different and lovely?"
         Oh, I couldn't say - Yes, your strangely colored green eyes that are definitely not pretty, but sort of weird alien looking. I couldn't say that, so instead, I replied, "No. What? You know it's been at least 5 years since I've seen you. Tell me."
         "My eyes, silly! Aren't they the perfect shade of green?"
         "Wow," is all I allowed myself to say.
          I was saved by the waitress bringing our margaritas. We passed a pleasant time waiting for our lunch. My friend, always so bubbly, went on and on about the planned trip to the Bahamas.
         When lunch finally arrived, the waitress placed my friend's chicken fajita salad in front of her and my beef fajita salad in front of me. My friend has always been quite outspoken and now was no different.  She took one look at my plate and declared, "My friend ordered a steak fajita salad!"
         "Yes," said the waitress, "that's a beef fajita salad."
         "Well, you MUST take it back and bring her another! She did NOT order beef, she ordered steak."
         As I was about to tell her it was alright, a look of total embarrassment claimed my friend's face.
         "Oh, never mind. It's alright," she said hurriedly. "She'll keep the beef."
         When the bewildered waitress left, I whispered, "What was that all about?"
         "I . . . I . . .um . . . I don't know. I saw your plate and saw beef and in my head, I was thinking you ordered chicken, but it came out of my mouth as 'steak'."
         I couldn't keep the laughter out of my voice when I told her, "But I didn't even order chicken. So how did the confusion between beef and steak happen?"
         "Oh, I don't know. I heard 'cluck-cluck' in my head and knew that you were supposed to have chicken. Only my mouth went the other way. It wasn't until I saw your confused look that I knew my mouth and brain were not in sync again. Oh, look, don't tell anyone about this, ok?"
        "Of course not."
        I could only wonder at my friend. She is way more blond than she pays to be. I'm glad her husband is going with her on the trip to the Bahamas.


© 2013 Carol Phares