Fleeting Masks
Please, make them fleet! I am so tired of breathing my own carbon dioxide. My goodness, the plants inside offices and shops are wilting, confused by the lack of carbon dioxide.
Last week at my doctor's office, I heard one whisper to the other, "What's with people? They're hogging all the air with those masks. It's like mass hysteria, they all started wearing them at once. If they don't take those *&#$ things off, I'm going to suffocate! I need some CO!"
The philodendron replied, "I'm feeling pretty bad, too. I don't know what's going on. I thought they needed the O2 we make. I think there's a trade deficit going on here and we're on the wrong end of the stick!"
The English ivy was not to be outdone. "What if we were to just wilt away. Then they would have no oxygen! That would fix them."
"And we would be dead. Don't be silly. This is a serious matter. We have to figure out something."
I noticed the English ivy blush a bright green with embarrassment. Both plants shrank back into their pots to think about their dilemma. I continued my surfing of the Internet on my phone, waiting to be called back to see His Highness, er the doctor. I watched the plants out of the corner of my eye, though, because I didn't know they could whisper to each other. I hoped they didn't think I was staring.
Within just a few minutes, I saw the English ivy slowly stand tall. It was in a pot next to a gentleman waiting to be seen. I held my breath
The ivy had branches that I had not seen previously. These branches slowly, almost unobtrusively began to unfurl, curling toward's the man's pockeet. At least I thought it was aiming for the pocket. Bypassing the fellow's pocket, the branch slithered up the side of his shirt. The gentleman was so engrossed in whatever was on his cell phone screen, he didn't notice the green monster beside him.
I wanted to shout to the guy. I wanted to stand up and bat the green snake away. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I froze in my seat. I could only pray that the man's name would be called in time to avert disaster. The ivy reached above his collar. Oh, the awful thoughts going through my head. I just knew the plant would replace this man's brain in a matter of minutes. Indeed, the plant headed straight for the side of his head, aiming for his ear. It slithered under the loop that held his mask. Just then, the man reached up to scratch a tickle, but it was too late. The potted ivy slithered under the loop and just like that, popped away from the face, disengaging the man's mask.
I've never seen a man move so fast outside a football game. The guy yelped and jumped up at the same time, rubbing his face where the ivy had been.
Dear reader, they say a happy plant is one that is talked to every day. I think I witnessed something that could make them happier. Both plants stood straight, tall, and green. I am with them in looking forward to the day we don't have to get creative just to breath.
Last week at my doctor's office, I heard one whisper to the other, "What's with people? They're hogging all the air with those masks. It's like mass hysteria, they all started wearing them at once. If they don't take those *&#$ things off, I'm going to suffocate! I need some CO!"
The philodendron replied, "I'm feeling pretty bad, too. I don't know what's going on. I thought they needed the O2 we make. I think there's a trade deficit going on here and we're on the wrong end of the stick!"
The English ivy was not to be outdone. "What if we were to just wilt away. Then they would have no oxygen! That would fix them."
"And we would be dead. Don't be silly. This is a serious matter. We have to figure out something."
I noticed the English ivy blush a bright green with embarrassment. Both plants shrank back into their pots to think about their dilemma. I continued my surfing of the Internet on my phone, waiting to be called back to see His Highness, er the doctor. I watched the plants out of the corner of my eye, though, because I didn't know they could whisper to each other. I hoped they didn't think I was staring.
Within just a few minutes, I saw the English ivy slowly stand tall. It was in a pot next to a gentleman waiting to be seen. I held my breath
The ivy had branches that I had not seen previously. These branches slowly, almost unobtrusively began to unfurl, curling toward's the man's pockeet. At least I thought it was aiming for the pocket. Bypassing the fellow's pocket, the branch slithered up the side of his shirt. The gentleman was so engrossed in whatever was on his cell phone screen, he didn't notice the green monster beside him.
I wanted to shout to the guy. I wanted to stand up and bat the green snake away. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I froze in my seat. I could only pray that the man's name would be called in time to avert disaster. The ivy reached above his collar. Oh, the awful thoughts going through my head. I just knew the plant would replace this man's brain in a matter of minutes. Indeed, the plant headed straight for the side of his head, aiming for his ear. It slithered under the loop that held his mask. Just then, the man reached up to scratch a tickle, but it was too late. The potted ivy slithered under the loop and just like that, popped away from the face, disengaging the man's mask.
I've never seen a man move so fast outside a football game. The guy yelped and jumped up at the same time, rubbing his face where the ivy had been.
Dear reader, they say a happy plant is one that is talked to every day. I think I witnessed something that could make them happier. Both plants stood straight, tall, and green. I am with them in looking forward to the day we don't have to get creative just to breath.
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I've enjoyed writing this, as I hope you've enjoyed reading it. Please leave a comment about whether you like it or if not, constructive criticism is always welcome.